


The Satirist's Love Song

by Space_gays_that_arent_in_space



Series: It Sounds Just Like Falling In Love [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Angst, Angst but it's like right at the end, Background Gamzee Makara/Karkat Vantas, Bisexual Dave Strider, Bulge Sucking (Homestuck), Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Co-workers, Cock Worship, Creampie, Denial of Feelings, Drunk Sex, Human/Troll Relationship (Homestuck), Karkat Needs a Hug, M/M, Man sort of has become my most iconic tag, Mentioned Gamzee Makara, Minor Gamzee Makara/Karkat Vantas, Nook Eating (Homestuck), Nook Worship (Homestuck), One Night Stands, Oral Sex, POV Dave Strider, POV Second Person, Past Terezi Pyrope/Dave Strider - Freeform, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Break Up, Purring Trolls (Homestuck), Sort Of, Stream of Consciousness, Tentacle Dick, They work at subway, Top Dave, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, sort of again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:00:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27216823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_gays_that_arent_in_space/pseuds/Space_gays_that_arent_in_space
Summary: ”Dave, I’m saying this because I know you’re not enough of a buldgesucking nooksniffer to tell anyone about this, okay? If you do tell anyone please expect to have your grub chute swiftly detached from your cranium as swiftly as I can put together a 6” cold cut combo.”You swallow, nodding slowly. He’s gonna ask you to go on a mission to kill this guy, real John Tucker Must Die shit, maybe you’ll have to seduce him with your charm and sick raps, or maybe Karkat will just make you play watchdog while he does the deed. Karkat looks at you funny, and you realize that you’ve been mumbling to yourself without noticing. He disregards you, again.”Would you……..like to come over...and engage in your human version of fast paced quadrant replacement? Not permanently, of course, but just for tonight?” His voice is shaky and hesitant, like he fully expects you to say no and make fun of him like that isn’t the hottest offer you’ve been given.Karkat wants to have rebound sex with you. Yeah, of course you’d much prefer to take him on some bitching date where you show him how smooth and totally better than some stoner clown you can be, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Relationships: Dave Strider & Karkat Vantas, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara & Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara/Karkat Vantas
Series: It Sounds Just Like Falling In Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987501
Comments: 16
Kudos: 53





	The Satirist's Love Song

**Author's Note:**

> Named after the song by Lemon Demon because the moment I saw the name I knew it was perfect for Mr. Strider

You’ve only known Karkat Vantas for a few months, and in these months, you think you’re kind of in love with him. Well, love is a word too strong for someone like you, but you like him. He’s cool. Karkat is your cool coworker who you’ve watched nearly punch several customers in the fucking face for reaching their hand over the sandwich divider to point at what they want and refuse to even stand near you during your smoke breaks despite dating some guy who seems like he’s constantly leaking the shit from his mouth. He’s cute too, fluffy head of hair with tiny little horns poking out in their sea of blackness. His skin is especially soft despite being a troll, you find yourself wanting to squish his face because of it. His face is sort of the best too, all pouty lips and sleepy eyes, it’s a weird sort of sex appeal, despite the babyfat still on his face. Speaking of fat, his ass too, that’s great. His best asset if you’re being honest, fat and perky and shit you just wanna slap him or bite it. In your totally not voyuer moments, when you’ve caught him with clown man swapping spit, your comrade in Vantas loving seems to love the Vantass just as much as you do. Always groping and grabbing until Karkat makes some sort of face that makes you feel a bit too aroused. He’s so stocky that it’s hard to notice how great his ass is, but when you did, god you could never not notice it. There are a lot of things about Karkat that you’re into, and you’d totally go after him if not for smoke mouth dude. 

Yeah, Karkat is hot and has a boyfriend, you think. 

Karkat wears his feelings on his sleeve and it isn’t hard to notice the way he stiffens up, stifling what you think may be a purr, when the van that always comes to get him after work shows up, or how, the few times that you two have hung out outside of work together, he talks about some guy named Gamzee like he just wants to lock him up in a tower like rapunzel so he can’t get into any bullshit antics. Antics that include often making Karkat late for work because of make out sessions. You’ve seen them happen a few too many times now, walking in or out from a shift and seeing that bright purple van covered in skulls with your little buddy wrapped up tight around the big guy, fervent and passionate. 

It would be cute or maybe disgusting, if not for this petty little crush of yours. Shit’s still sort of funny when though, when you manage to get under his skin about this little relationship of his. Tease him about how he’s acting head over heels like a schoolgirl with a crush on an upperclassmen who isn’t that cool but notices him anyway and their entire romance is full of awkward misunderstandings that lead to shenanigans that you, as the best friend in this old school narrative, watches on with entertainment. You ignore the part where, in very much classic romance movie fashion, you are in love with the pretty little protagonist that is Karkat, because it doesn’t matter. 

At least, it didn’t matter, not until Karkat came storming up to you during work, eyes shiny and wet and glossy with red tears, saying that he wanted to go out for drinks later. Karkat has cried plenty of times during work, usually out of rage or stress, but this time it seemed different. This time, it felt _serious_. 

You can only half ass your sandwiches, all the while muttering sick raps under your breath for the sake of later use. Karkat isn’t much better, he mops like a kicked, pissed off puppy, every once in a while having to run back to the bathroom for what is obviously going to be more crying or maybe breaking something. You have to wonder if someone died or something because usually Karkat can at least keep it together for most of the shift. You mind your business though, you can find out later. 

And fuck do you find out. 

You’ve never actually known a lot about Karkat’s pseudo-relationship or whatever the fuck his deal is with stoner guy. Of course, you’ve, like, heard about him and seen him around, but Karkat never gets into the whole deal between them. They’re dating, you’re very sure of that one, but you have no clue how long they’ve met, how long they’ve been together, or if they even live together. As obvious as every other part of Karkat is, he seems to keep that, and really all other parts of his personal life, from you. No biggie though, everyone has their own shit. That was the mantra you subscribed to before, and now it’s all paying off, or, at least, it would be if Karkat hadn’t just pounded back four vodka shots and scrubbed his face with his hands so hard you were sure that he was gonna pull the thing off. 

”You know that….tall fucking idiot with nothing in his pan except sopor and weed and his stupid shitty fucking idea of miracles...that comes to pick me up sometimes?” He sounds hesitant, like he can’t believe he’s telling _you_ of all people about that. 

You nod slow, squinting at him beneath your shades, “yeah, I remember him. Tall guy, big ass hair, big ass horns, always ordering subs and spitting rhymes like nobody’s business?” 

The look on Karkat’s face tells you to shut the fuck up. 

You shut the fuck up and he disregards what you said and instead continues, “yeah, whatever. Well, he and I...broke off our matespritship,” he speaks slowly, like he can’t even believe he’s saying this, or maybe that it’s real. 

There’s a pain on his face so poignant that you want to hug him, or maybe offer to pay for tonight’s drinks or pick up his shift. You pity him, and you think he can see that on your face. His eyes are all glossy red with his weird troll tears and he seems so fragile. He’s like a Bambi after watching his mom get absolutely fucking annihilated by the huntsman. Poor Karbambi. Fuck, Karbambi, that’s funny, you need to use that when your dear coworker-sort-of-friend isn’t in the middle of a break up induced crisis. He’s looking at you now, and you realize that you haven’t spoken in too long. You clear your throat. 

”I’m uh...I’m sorry? Shit sucks dude, I would know, I remember when my last ex and I broke up. Shit was like I was a fish and just utterly gutted. She was Ahab and I was Moby Dick. If you, like, need something from me, like, covering a shift or anything like that, just lemme know. I gotcha dude” 

Karkat is scowling at you, but you do notice that it’s a little bit softer than it was before, like your offer helped something. You two sit there in silence for a while, Karkat guzzling down a beer while you sip at yours. It is only when he gets about halfway through the bottle that he addresses you again, this time with a fire in his eyes that leaves you feeling a little meek. He meets your eyes even though his face is turning red as Rudolph’s nose, you have to wonder what the hell he could be planning up in that stupid hot head of his. 

”Dave, I’m saying this because I know you’re not enough of a buldgesucking nooksniffer to tell anyone about this, okay? If you do tell anyone please expect to have your grub chute swiftly detached from your cranium as swiftly as I can put together a 6” cold cut combo.” 

You swallow, nodding slowly. He’s gonna ask you to go on a mission to kill this guy, real John Tucker Must Die shit, maybe you’ll have to seduce him with your charm and sick raps, or maybe Karkat will just make you play watchdog while he does the deed. Karkat looks at you funny, and you realize that you’ve been mumbling to yourself without noticing. He disregards you, again. 

”Would you……..like to come over...and engage in your human version of fast paced quadrant replacement? Not permanently, of course, but just for tonight?” His voice is shaky and hesitant, like he fully expects you to say no and make fun of him like that isn’t the hottest offer you’ve been given. 

Karkat wants to have rebound sex with you. Yeah, of course you’d much prefer to take him on some bitching date where you show him how smooth and totally better than some stoner clown you can be, but beggars can’t be choosers, and you’d much rather beg with your face between his legs. 

You look around, then nod real slow. 

Karkat’s eyes get wide for a second, and you have to wonder if he thought that you would say no. 

”Sure dude, just some no homo homie rebound sex. Totally down with that shit, I’ll totally fuck all that sadness out of you and-” 

Karkat grabs your face and kisses you. 

Karkat’s stubby little claws dig into your skin and he jams his little sandpaper tongue into your mouth and you feel your knees get weak for a moment. You kiss back, of course, wrapping your hands around his wrists and tasting the vodka on his breath. He’s good-no, great at kissing, and you wonder if it was all those van make out sessions he’s most definitely been apart of. You two stay like that for a long time, Karkat’s tongue digging deeper into your mouth and you just trying to stay cool while you consider going for an ass grab. You’re the one to break it, the feel of eyes on you making your skin crawl. 

You load Karkat into your car, well, Dirk’s car that you’re borrowing while yours is in the shop, and he suddenly blurts out an address. Hm, well, you guess you’re going to his place then. Once again, no biggie, especially not when you’re about to fuck the guy you’ve been really into for like four out of the eight months he’s been working with you. 

Karkat’s complex is more run down than you would’ve expected, but also very close to work. You wouldn’t be surprised if he got wherever he’s at on a bargain, but you also come from a land of shitty McMansions and townhouses, so who are you to talk? 

Karkat leads you up for flights of stairs and up into a hallway with sickly green lighting. You’re already close behind him as he fumbles to open the door, ready to press that Vantass right up against your junk and get to work laying those sick Strider charms on him. Then the door opens, and the whole plan goes out of the window because you realize that Karkat just got out of a relationship that had way more depth than you ever realized. 

You notice the clothes strewn about, all way too big to be Karkat’s, and the coffee mugs on the table, one with tea and one with some weird green slime in it. On the ground by the tv there are little pieces of shattered glass. There are juggling pins right next to a pile of horns on the floor, and the bed looks way too fucking big for Karkat. In this little studio apartment you realize that Karkat and this Gamzee dude were a thing more serious than a heart attack, and then you remember what Terezi explained to you back when you guys were together. Something about how matespritship was stupid important to trolls, or something. You look down at Karkat who looks like he’s getting his heart shattered all over again, like he’s remembering whatever the fuck happened between the two of them. 

He looks up at you and steels his gaze. He looks just like he does whenever a customer asks to speak to the manager, furious and ready for a fight. Instead of screaming at you, or maybe punching you, he pulls you down for another kiss. He kisses you hard and rough and jams his tongue right back down your throat like he did in the bar. You really never noticed how strong he is until now, as he leads you right over to his bed, pushing you down and straddling your lap. 

You’re hard again. 

He presses down against you and you take his as the opportunity to grope him. You dig your hands into the meat of his ass, firmer than you thought, but damn is it still amazing. You use your left to keep up this blessing of gropage and use your right to run up and down his inner thigh. Underneath his pants you can feel something wiggling, like some sort of animal, but Karkat seems to moan whenever you accidentally brush it, so now you’re betting on his alien dick being something that moves. You decide that you absolutely _must_ find out what this thing looks like, so you flip yourselves over. 

Karkat looks surprised to suddenly be on his back, but not upset. You press little kisses against his jaw and neck while your hands fidget with the button on his jeans. That’s all the little guy needs to come wiggling out of his home nestled in Karkat’s undies, and holy shit are you mesmerized. A wiggling, bright red little tentacle, practically beckoning you to take it into your mouth. You lick your lips and immediately head for that downstairs action, all the while trying to get his stupid skinny jeans off. You have to fight them, and when you do you’re blessed with even more to look at. Along with your tentacle buddy, Karkat has a fucking cunt that drips with the same red at the tentacle. You lean down toward the tentacle dick, you forget what it’s called, and Karkat almost immediately grabs your hair. 

”What the fuck are you doing?!” He sounds pissed. 

You cock your head, “You never gotten a blowjob before, Kitty Kar?” 

”What the fuck?! Of course not! Why the fuck would I ever let anyone _near_ my bulge with their teeth, have you seen the way our teeth look, it could get cut off just from too much licking you absolute fucking bufoon! God, of course a human wouldn’t know this. Mediocre fuckheads…” 

Karkat’s rant leaves you a little wide eyed. He’s never gotten his dick sucked before….which means that you absolutely must do it now. You lean down, grabbing wiggling little Karkatdashian junior into your hand and taking him right into your mouth. It’s not very long, but it gets fat toward the base. You let him fill your mouth, all burning hot and wiggling, and fuck your dick is really straining here. Right below he’s leaking out of his alien cunt and all you wanna do is also get all up in there, you wait though, instead giving Karkat a few bobs of your head and watching as he twists up in pleasure at the sensation of you sucking him like a lollipop. Shit, he looks like one too, and you can’t wait for your chance to be the kid in the Vantas candy store. 

You feel the tentadick thrust down your throat and nearly choke, Karkat whines above you. You try to resettle yourself but it’s getting hard as you feel the little guy practically corkscrew in your throat. Fuck. Yeah. You have to pull off. You try not to sputter when you do, feeling the way the thing tries to still fuck your mouth despite you moving away. Karkat is panting above you, already worked up from just a little bit of mouthwork. You resist the urge to grin. Just wait till he gets a load of your game on that cunt of his. 

You go right back down, passing the bulge and instead focusing on its pulsating counterpart. You’re more hesitant now, for some reason, like suddenly another bulge will pop out and fuck your throat unprompted. Instead though, you’re met with tight, intoxicating heat. You lick up the drizzles of red around his thighs and Karkat’s legs immediately take on a trembling that makes you scared you’re gonna blow in your pants. You don’t though, not yet. No, instead you give him another lick, this time slower, climbing up his inner thigh until you get right up to his nook. You try to take your time, kitten licking where his bulge comes out and listening to the little noises he stifles above you. His bulge is still wiggling around, trying to fuck into anything it can and in the process knocking your glasses askew. It doesn’t matter though. Sunglasses can be washed from alien sex lubricant and cum, just like clothes can be. 

You give him one long lick, feeling the way that the taste of whatever the fuck settles on your tongue, sweet and sour in a musky way. You wonder if all nook tastes like this, or maybe Karkat is just a meal waiting to be eaten. 

You get more serious then, grabbing his thighs and hoisting them on to your shoulders so you can dig in, tongue digging into the deepest parts of him you can reach, excavating more of that taste and more noises from him. Karkat seems to like it, the way that you lave at and tongue fuck him, he’s making all of thes weird little noises that are practically animalistic, little chitters mixed in with his whines and cries. Really, it spurs you on all the more. You want to see the kind of face he’s making while you do this, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he was crying. Shit, that may even be kind of hot. 

The bulge is moving more fervently now, wiggling against the top half of your face and getting all of that red goop into your hair. It’s hot though, in the strangest, most alien of ways. You wonder if Karkat is close to cumming, he probably is, his chittering is overtaking the whining now. You bury your face deeper and stick your hand up, letting his bulge rub up against it. That does something to him that you didn’t expect. His hands are in your hair now, gripping you tight and jamming your face right up against the heat of his cunt. His thighs cling close to you, just as hot as the rest of him. He’s mumbling something, chanting it with the moans and the chitters and the cries, and then, suddenly, a bunch of the red shit spills all over you like a volcano. The cum from his nook drenches the bottom half of your face and the neck of your shirt, and the cum from his bulge ends up all in your hair and a bit on your back. Fuck. That’s kind of hot. 

You lift your head to look at him, his hands slack in your hair and covered in bits of his own genetic material. He’s a bit dazed, eyes mostly closed and breathing heavy, but his bulge is still wiggling around just like before. 

”Karkat?” You poke him in the shoulder 

He grunts in response. 

”Can you uh...go for another round…” 

This time, he gives you a real response, “Yeah...yeah c’mon” 

He opens his arms for you, and you don’t know why he’s even sexier all fucked out like this. You peel yourself out of your clothes, then get his shirt off of him. In that time, he seems to have regained enough energy to take control back from you. He climbs back into your lap and you can feel the heat of his nook right up against your dick. You resist the urge to moan, instead taking the skin of his shoulder into your mouth and biting down, sucking a hickey into his skin. Striders don’t moan, but they do leave marks for everyone to see that they’ve marked their territory. Not that Karkat is territory, per se, well, not that he isn’t exactly territory either. Karkat is looking at you, and you realize that he probably heard your mutterings against his skin. He kisses you and you’re grateful, both because you’ve been duly shut up and because now you get more of that wonderful tongue sliding into your mouth. It reminds you of his bulge, now that you think about it, all wriggly and out of control. The only difference is that you’re pretty sure Karkat is actually in control of his tongue and making it feel out of control rather than like his bulge which he probably can’t control. 

Karkat grinds down and you feel him against your dick, all hot and sopping wet. You resist the urge to cry out, but fuck Strider rules have never experienced Karkat Vantas’s absolutely insane nook. 

You grab his hips, angling him against you and pulling away. 

”Hey do we need any alien condoms or some shit, I don’t wanna get space AIDS” 

Karkat squints at you, and rather than answering your question he plants himself right on your dick. You moan, your brain melting with the heat of his nook on you. You grip tight at his hips, so fucking tight that you’re certain that he’s gonna have bruises from it. Space AIDS don’t matter for you then, fuck even if Karkat did have space AIDS it would be kind of worth it. You thrust up once and you can feel him practically sucking you inside. 

You moan, disregarding all of your rules and hesitations for the sake of fucking into Karkat. He’s bouncing above you, wet slapping being the only thing to fill up the room. He’s so much, too much, so fucking hot that it’s going to kill you. You let out a groan and he purrs at you and you press your lips to his throat. 

”Fuck Karkat, fuck you’re so good, so fucking hot, so sexy. God I wanna fuck you like this forever fuck” You’re speaking brainlessly, barely aware of what’s coming out of your mouth. 

You feel his arms tighten around you, nails digging into your shoulders. All of this is so overwhelming, from the tight heat surrounding you to the way his bulge is rubbing up against your stomach to all of the noises that he’s making. You could not imagine breaking up with this, not when he’s this good. He’s so good at everything and so hot and so perfect and fuck if you could you’d start going out with him. 

Karkat keens, and he heard you. He heard you say that you wouldn’t dump him, that you wanna date him, and he was _into it_. That pushes you into overdrive, fucking up into Karkat with a fervency that you haven’t experienced in years. You’re going to carve the shape of your dick into him, you’re gonna fuck him so good he sounds like even more of a pornstar. You get him on to his back and fuck him with his legs on your shoulders, your glasses were discarded a long time ago, all there is is the two of you staring at each other. 

Red on red, hip to hip, face to face. You kiss him again, this time much softer than all the others. 

He really is beautiful. 

He clenches around you and you shudder, then things seem to come out of the strangely tender zone you were just in. Instead you two are back, you fucking deep into him and him gripping so tight at you that you’re sure he’s about to break the skin on you back. He keeps panting out harders and fasters right into your ear and it’s driving you wild, you wanna see his face as he cums, you wanna see it so bad. You bring your hand to his bulge and start stroking again, watching the way his face twists up in pleasure. He’s clenching down on you even tighter, heel of his foot digging into your ass as sweat streams down your back. This is all so much, nearly too much, your hand falters, as does the rhythm of your hips. You bury yourself deep inside one last time and cum with a loud, long groan. 

You fuck into him shallowly after that, his heat still as overwhelming as it was before as you jerk him to completion. You cum all over again when he does, the sensation of him clamping down on you all over enough to send you careening toward the edge and falling right off into an ocean of Fuck Yes. 

After that, you pull out of him and drop to the side, something digs into your back underneath the covers. You pull it out and see a t-shirt with the capricorn symbol on it, how cheesy. Then you see the way that Karkat looks at the shirt, albeit blearily. All pain and sorrow and faint euphoria from the sex you two just had. Oh yeah, you guys just had rebound sex. You’re covered in all of his juices all over you because him and his stoner clown boyfriend broke up. When you look around again, he really has infected the undercurrent of everything. The walls are covered in a mixture of troll romcom posters and clowns and black t shirts that span the size of your bathroom rug are all over the ground. You remember the guy being big but being this close to his shit puts it all into perspective. You press a kiss to Karkat’s cheek and move next to him, trying to prove that you can comfort him in more ways than just sex. The little part of your brain that hopes you seem cooler for it nips at your brain and its all you can do to not tell yourself to shut up out loud. Karkat takes the kiss though, leans into you all jelly boned and sweet. 

You hope that maybe, one day, your shit will be strewn all over the place, it’s not too hopeful. At least, you think it’s not. 

Karkat cuddles up close to you and falls asleep fast, all quiet snorts and snores. You follow after him easily, bound up close. You feel warm inside, successful, like all of this could mean some sort of good change. Maybe you two will make out during breaktime instead of you going out back for a smoke. Those are the thoughts that cuddle up to you as you fall asleep, surrounded by the smell of sex and Karkat. 

In the morning you see Karkat sitting on the edge of the bed, in a towel, watching you. You want to make some sort of joke about him being obsessed with you, but the look on his face tells you that this isn’t the right time. In front of him are your clothes, clean and warm, your glasses. 

He hands them to you before he starts talking, really, it’s something more akin to him toss-shoving them at you, but you can see that he’s nervous, trembling a little bit. 

“Um...thanks for last night. I washed your clothes for you since they were covered in slurry and you didn’t deserve to leave dressed in one of Gamzee’s stupid fucking outfits or in cum covered clothes. Also, I don’t need you covering any of my shifts, I’ll be fine….I just wanted to say that...I’m sorry for dragging you into all of my personal shit...and….I think it would be better if you went home...I’ve got some shit to take care of today” 

You feel something in your heart ache a little bit. Karkat is kicking you out, but maybe he just needs time to think about the fact that you made him cum his brains out. Yeah, yeah that’s what all of this is. Karkat is a tough nut to crack, and even if you did split him on your dick last night, he’s gotta handle the emotional turmoil of having been faced with someone who fucks him good and cuddles even better. 

That’s the thought that you comfort yourself with as you put on your clothes and head out as silent as you can, better for you to not have any interaction until he finds out what a sick ass boyfriend you’d be. You put your sunglasses on last, giving Karkat’s door one last look with clear eyes. Your next shifts are ones you don’t have with him and they feel more tense than they should be. You feel on edge, waiting for Karkat to say something, or to see him, and you do see him. You see him about four days after the two of you fucked, getting dropped off in that purple skull van. 

Your heart breaks a little because you aren’t stupid, or maybe you are. You aren’t totally sure. Even still, at least you'll have then, and for the time being you have the marks from those claws digging sharp and intense into the flesh of your back. 

Karkat walks into the Subway and looks at you, you nod at each other. 

You kind of want to ask him what happened, why the two of them got back together, why they broke up in the first place, but it isn't your business. People have their own shit to deal with, Dave, you can't go sticking your nose into it just because the sex you two had was so good that you're worried you're actually totally for real in love with Karkat now. No, that isn't allowed, that isn't The Strider Way, and besides, Karkat already told you that it was rebound sex. Being sad about it is like being sad about being given a movie for rental, you rented it, you watched it, now it's time to be a big boy and give it back, even if it has become your favorite movie and all you want to do is fuck it and kiss it and make sure it never looks as sad as it did when it told you its last owner gave it up, then asked you to watch it but only once for the sake of getting over its old owner who ended up coming to get it back anyway. You look into Karkat's eyes, and suddenly, in front of your glass doors, there's your old pal clown dude, all sloppy grin and greasepaint. 

_We won’t talk about it, ever._

Your feelings, no matter how disregarded they are, at least can be played off as a bro move now, and really, what all can you ask for? 

The bell rings as it opens, and Karkat turns his attention to Gamzee. 

"What is up, my invertebrother, and my very near and dear motherfuckin matesprit Karbro?"

**Author's Note:**

> Hi kudos, comments, etc are greatly appreciated and there is a 99% chance that if you comment I'll reply.
> 
> @tamyura_on twt  
> @porcelain_babies on insta


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